The Platinum Rule

Most of us learned some version of the Golden Rule in childhood – treat others as you would like to be treated. This lesson is carried into adulthood where we’re encouraged to apply it in our careers and personal relationships.

But the Golden Rule has a major flaw in that it assumes that others want to be treated the same as you, as if we’re all appeased, pleased, or rewarded by the same behaviors. We each have our unique combination of values, experiences, and needs that lead us to have differing responses to the actions and words of others. 

How could this reveal itself in various scenarios?

As a leader: You give a team member a lot of creative freedom on a project, thinking they’ll feel empowered; however, the employee is frustrated by their perceived lack of direction.

As a customer service professional: You get straight to the point with fixing a problem because a quick resolution is what you would value; however, the customer feels unheard and considers the interaction insensitive.

As a partner: You bring your partner a gift, thinking it compensates for the extra time you’ve spent working. Your partner has a lackluster response because what they really want is your time, and you both end up disappointed.

You can create better outcomes in your interactions with others through the application of the Platinum Rule, which is to treat others as they would like to be treated.

Applying the Platinum Rule is a lot more challenging. If you think about it, the Golden Rule is a relatively lazy approach to interacting with others. After all, you already know what you want. You just exert a little effort in giving it to others.

With the Platinum Rule though, you need some understanding of what the other person wants. It’s a highly individualized approach and requires some awareness, investigation, or relationship building to apply effectively. It takes work and attention. However, this true demonstration of caring about another can have lasting, gratifying impacts that foster stronger relationships in all aspects of your life.